There has been a doctrine circulating in the church (by respected leaders) that states divorce and the “putting away” of one’s wife are two different things. This doctrine teaches that “putting away” is sin, but divorce is somewhat acceptable. The scriptures are twisted to form this doctrine and it has the potential to be very destructive to the body of Christ.
This doctrine comes from a humanistic approach of not wanting believers who are divorced and remarried to feel shame, guilt, or condemnation and to open opportunities for such people to lead in the Body of Christ. While this seems noble, it is actually deceptive and demonic. Jesus paid the price for all sin and believers who have been divorced and remarried can be set free from this sin. When a believer asks for forgiveness and truly repents of committing adultery, the Lord forgives that sin and the person is restored. This is the grace and mercy of Jesus.
However if believers pretend they didn’t commit adultery and have not confessed and repented, their sin remains. Then the believer will be weighed down in shame, guilt, and condemnation. They won’t be able to hear a sermon preached on divorce without feeling shame and guilt. A believer who has truly been set free from their former sin can hear a message about their former sin without feeling condemnation.
Putting Away
The deceptive doctrine of “putting away” states that putting away a wife is a sin but divorce is legal. This doctrine states that Jesus was not talking about divorce and that He was only condemning “putting away” a wife. Basically this doctrine opens the entire church up to divorce since it states that Jesus wasn’t calling it sin. The doctrine of “putting away” is part of the false grace doctrine.
By arguing that “putting away” is different than divorce, believers could get divorced if they wanted to. They would not have to remain single but could get remarried to someone else if they so desired. Believers would not be committing the sin of adultery by getting divorced and remarried. Also, church overseers could get divorced and remarried to a second wife, all while maintaining their governing authority over a local or regional church (I will explain this subject in depth towards the end of the article).
It appears that the doctrine of “putting away” gives license for divorce and further destroys the family. Obviously a believer can get a divorce if their spouse commits adultery or fornication. Jesus told us that divorce was justified when that sin was committed. However, the doctrine of “putting away” allows divorce much more freely. It empowers believers to get divorced if things aren’t working out or if they mistakenly married the wrong person. This is very destructive to individual families and the church.
The Lord’s will is for two married people to die to their own self-life and serve one another. The Father desires Christ to become the center of the marriage so that life is imparted to the union. Christ’s life is what causes a marriage to succeed, grow, progress, be healthy, or be restored. Christ is the answer for every marriage, especially for the ones that are struggling. Christ is God’s answer and divorce is the Devil’s answer. Any teaching or doctrine that encourages the Devil’s answer is clearly not from God.
The Scriptures Explained
The following passage is used by some teachers to make a distinction between divorce and “putting away" and thus give justification to divorce:
“It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: but I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.” (Matthew 5:31-32 KJV)
Certain teachers argue that the Greek word used for “put away” does not mean divorce but rather “put away,” which is not actually divorce. This is untrue. The Greek word translated “put away” can be translated in a number of different ways. The Greek word “apoluō” can mean: “to loose, to release, to set free, to let go, to allow to depart, to send away, to put away, or to divorce." In fact, three different translators state the word can mean divorce (Strong, Mounce, and Thayer).
One must take into account all of the possible word translations and apply them to the context of what Jesus is saying. We must do this by the Holy Spirit and not through the lens of our own doctrine or theology. Jesus sets the context in the above passage by saying, “writing of divorcement.” Therefore Jesus makes it clear that He is speaking about divorce. So when the phrase is translated, “put away,” it is in reference to divorce. The same Greek is actually used twice in the above passage. It is translated as “put away” the first time and “divorced” the second time. This indicates that the translators were using the words “put away” and “divorce” interchangeably.
In another situation, the religious leaders attempted to justify divorce to Jesus. Again, the term “put away” is used within the context of divorce or the issuing of a certificate of divorce:
“The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?” And He answered and said to them, “Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” They said to Him, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” He said to them, “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery.”” (Matthew 19:3-9 NKJV)
The Pharisees (who were controlled by false religious demonic spirits) sought justification to divorce a woman for any reason they wanted to without it being called “sin.” Can we see the parallel with the current doctrine of “putting away” which is attempting to justify divorce? The same spirit is behind this modern doctrine and it will operate through religious leaders to push its agenda.
Even the religious leaders stated that the certificate of divorce and the “putting away” of one’s wife were the same. Or at least the “putting away” occurred after the certificate of divorce was issued, indicating that the two events were connected. According to the Pharisees, the certificate of divorce was issued and then the woman was “put away.” The “putting away” was the act of divorce. The Pharisees own words destroy the modern doctrine that states divorce and “putting away” are two separate things. The scriptures in Matthew 19:3-9 clearly show the truth.
“When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house,” (Deuteronomy 24:1 NKJV)
When Jesus is speaking about divorce and “putting away,” His foundation is from the above scripture. A certificate of divorce was issued and then the woman would be “sent away” or “put away.” The “sending away” was the actual separation after the divorce was legalized. The Hebrew word for “send her out” is (shaw-lakh'). The word also means to send away, to put away, or to dismiss. During the time when Jesus was on earth, all Jews understood that “putting a woman away” was only legally done after a certificate of divorce was presented. Therefore, it would be impossible to assume that these two subjects were considered completely different in Jewish culture.
Divorce and “putting away” were permitted under the law because men had hard hearts. After grace came through faith in Jesus Christ, the Lord chose not to allow divorce and “putting away” any longer. When greater grace was released from the Lord, we had the power to make marriage work.
The Pharisees of Jesus’ day sought to be justified by the law so they could have a reason to divorce women. The Pharisees of our day are attempting to craft slick arguments regarding wording in order to justify divorce. It’s very interesting to see how the same demonic religious spirit rebrands itself in different generations.
“And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.” (Matthew 19:9 KJV)
The King James Version translates Jesus words as “put away” instead of "divorce,” as we see above in the NKJV. Remember that Jesus is responding to the question about the certificate of divorce. Jesus goes on to tell the religious leaders that they can “put away” a woman on the grounds of fornication. Jesus stated that “putting away” a wife or husband would be legal and acceptable in this circumstance.
The teachers stating that divorce and “putting away” are two completely different things are arguing that “putting away” a spouse is always a bad thing or a sin. Clearly Jesus states that “putting away” can be a good thing under the circumstances of fornication. This also indicates that “putting away” and divorce are one and the same. Jesus’ words destroy the doctrine that “putting away” is always a sin. When we truly examine the scriptures, we see that deceptive doctrines of demons do not hold up.
The Lord Through Paul
“Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife.” (I Corinthians 7:10-11 NKJV)
The Lord taught the same truth through His apostles in the first century church. Believers who are married are told not to divide, separate, depart, leave, or divorce. (Note: this article will not address a woman separating from her husband in cases of physical or psychological abuse for her safety.) Believers are then told not to remarry someone else if they do separate from their spouse. We are told to remain unmarried or get back with our spouse. This is made very clear in the scriptures, and the enemy is seeking to cloud the pure word of God with tricky false doctrine.
Paul, by the Spirit, describes the law by revealing the truth about marriage:
“Or do you not know, brethren (for I speak to those who know the law), that the law has dominion over a man as long as he lives? For the woman who has a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he lives. But if the husband dies, she is released from the law of her husband. So then if, while her husband lives, she marries another man, she will be called an adulteress; but if her husband dies, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress, though she has married another man.” (Romans 7:1-3 NKJV)
According to the Lord through Paul, death is the only legal ground for the dissolution of a marriage in which God made two people into one. Man does not have the legal authority to separate what the Lord has joined together as one (except when the sin of fornication or adultery is committed by one party). So because man does not have authority to separate by divorce what God has made one, if a divorce takes place, it is illegitimate. If a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she is an adulteress and committing adultery since she didn’t have the right to divorce her first husband. I am not saying this. Paul is stating this in the above passage and he is building off the teaching of Jesus in Matthew 19:3-9 which is the foundation.
I understand that the Lord’s standards are high for His church. Apparently the Lord thinks we should be able to overcome the world since He has made us a new creation and He is actually living in us.
Judgment
"But if thou shouldest hate thy wife and put her away, saith the Lord God of Israel, then ungodliness shall cover thy thoughts, saith the Lord Almighty: therefore take ye heed to your spirit, and forsake them not," (Malachi 2:16 Brenton LXX)
Judgment will come upon those who divorce their wives or upon those who divorce their husbands. The Lord will allow ungodliness or wickedness to afflict the minds of those who put away their spouse. This afflicting darkness will hinder one from progressing spiritually and drawing closer to the Lord.
Overseeing a Church
The scriptures reveal that the Lord has high standards for leaders who govern His church. Most of these standards revolve around good character. The Lord can give gifts, anointing, and power to leaders, but character is developed over time. Character is the proper foundation for gifting and anointing.
An overseer is someone to whom the Lord has given authority over a certain portion of His church (His people). The Bible uses the term “overseer” interchangeably with bishop, superintendent, and elder. Generally a governing leader in the church is an apostle, prophet, or teacher/pastor (1 Corinthians 12:28).
During the time frame of the book of Acts, Paul, Timothy, and Titus would appoint elders or overseers of churches in different cities. They learned from the mistakes they made in appointing overseers who were not ready to be in those places of authority. Some of these elders or bishops did not have the inward character and nature of Christ. Because of this, they did not lead the churches properly, and carnality prevailed in certain churches. The Holy Spirit spoke to Paul and revealed His will for leaders of His church. The Lord’s will is centered around proven and tested character:
“This is a faithful and trustworthy saying: if any man [eagerly] seeks the office of overseer (bishop, superintendent), he desires an excellent task. Now an overseer must be blameless and beyond reproach, the husband of one wife, self-controlled, sensible, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not addicted to wine, not a bully nor quick-tempered and hot-headed, but gentle and considerate, free from the love of money [not greedy for wealth and its inherent power—financially ethical]. He must manage his own household well, keeping his children under control with all dignity [keeping them respectful and well-behaved] (for if a man does not know how to manage his own household, how will he take care of the church of God?).” (1 Timothy 3:1-5 AMP)
Many believers and leaders have argued that the above scriptures are not referring to divorce and remarriage. They say that during the time period in which these verses were penned, some men had multiple wives and therefore a bishop must be a man who only has one wife. This is a true and correct statement. However, the scripture says, “husband of one wife.” So this can mean a man cannot have multiple wives and be an overseer, and it can also mean that a man cannot be married to multiple women at different times (having more than one wife) and be an overseeing leader of the church.
If we examine verse five we see that the Lord requires His church leaders to manage their households well. Would divorcing your wife and marrying another, all while devastating your children, be considered “managing the household well?” I can’t see how any reasonable person would judge this to be the case. Our actions determine our character and our character determines our readiness to oversee the church of the living God. If someone’s home life is in turmoil and distress then it is a good indication that they are not qualified to be a bishop or overseer. If a leader can’t take care of his bride then how can he take care of Christ’s bride?
The scriptures say that an overseer must be blameless and above reproach. If a leader neglects his wife and has at least a partial fault in the dissolution of a marriage, how is that overseer above reproach? The overseer would definitely not be “blameless” if he could not lead, manage, and oversee his own family. Leaders are responsible for the health of their family or their ministry. The Lord tests a man’s character in the home before he is ready to be a bishop. But if a man falls short as a leader in the home, how can he be approved to lead God’s people corporately? He most certainly is not approved to be a church leader if he does not measure up to the standards set by the Holy Spirit.
A man who can’t have a successful marriage is not a bad person and I’m not condemning anyone. I am saying that the scripture says that this kind of man is not fit to oversee the church of God. Why would any man want to be an overseer if they couldn’t properly oversee their family? That man would have to be full of self-life and simply want to be in control of the church for selfish reasons. Any honorable disciple of Jesus would realize that he is not ready to lead God’s people since he couldn’t lead his own family. A humble man would do the right thing. Prideful men will follow their own will and reject the word of God. They will keep leading God’s people even when they shouldn’t be.
A man should be taking care of his wife so that the marriage is healthy. No marriage is perfect, but marriages should be progressing in the Lord. This is a process that can take years. If a leader's marriage is falling apart, it is a likely indication that the leader is not nurturing his wife. Then, for example, the leader gets divorced but still wants to maintain the leadership position of the church while getting remarried. The leader has just proven that he can’t properly manage his own household. The church should not allow this leader to continue as overseer as the leader is disregarding scripture and becoming a law unto himself. If the leader continues as overseer, he is opposing the Lord’s revealed will through scripture and opening up the congregation to divorce and sin.
Tennessee Pastor
In 2018, a pastor in middle Tennessee went through a divorce. His wife was having mental problems because the pastor was distancing himself from her and was getting closer to his secretary. The pastor’s wife wanted to be more involved in the ministry and thought that he was spending too much time with her best friend (the secretary). The pastor believed in inner healing and deliverance but did not get help for his wife. Things got worse and the marriage continued to decline until the two got divorced. Fornication was not committed. Right before the divorce, the pastor sent his wife text messages that discussed her being overweight, and he also called her the “B” word and used the “F” word. Does this sound like someone with the internal character to lead God’s people?
According to testimony from the pastor's ex-wife, he told her things like, “I don’t want to be you anymore." If you died it would be better. Why don’t you file for divorce already? Because if you don't, then I will. Your face looks fat because of the stupid haircut you got. I hope somebody else loves you because it will never be me.” The pastor’s ex-wife also said that the pastor hit her two different times and spit in her face once.
The pastor’s wife listened to her husband and filed for divorce, thinking that he would change his mind. However the pastor told authorities in the church that his wife filed for divorce and was mentally unstable. Clearly the pastor manipulated the situation so that his wife was the one who filed for divorce, and the blame could be placed on her. The wife stated that she told her husband multiple times that she still loved him and that she wanted to reconcile with him. The pastor’s secretary was starting to take care of the pastor’s kids and would be at the home for dinner once the pastor’s wife moved out (the pastor made his wife leave the house).
The divorce was finalized. The pastor did not reconcile with his wife, nor did he remain single. Instead he began a romantic relationship with his wife’s best friend and his secretary. Could his emotional feelings for his wife’s best friend have been part of the reason that he did not fight harder for his marriage and seek to be reconciled with his wife? Could lust have been forming in his heart until he was glad that he and his wife were getting divorced so he could have another woman who he deemed more attractive and a better ministry partner? The whole circumstance does not seem to be above reproach!
The Tennessee pastor married his former wife’s former best friend and continued on in ministry like nothing ever happened. Some people may have left the church but most stayed. Many more people started following the pastor and the ministry increased along with his influence. The church allowed this leader to continue. Why wouldn’t Christians who love Jesus, the truth, and the scriptures simply have left the ministry and ceased supporting it? It shows the compromise that has crept into the church and sickened God’s people.
Leaders who support, endorse, or partner with bishops such as the Tennessee pastor, will be held accountable by the Lord. Bad partnerships can corrupt leaders and damage the faith of believers. Leaders who support corrupted overseers are essentially condoning their sin or looking the other way.
Grace in Divorce
There are many believers who were divorced before they were born again. There are also many believers who experienced divorce before they were in ministry. It can take a believer a number of years after they are saved to get their lives together. The Lord does not expect us to be perfect right after we are born again. Many believers struggled with sin and were divorced because their lives were still a mess after they came to Christ. Sometimes it takes years of walking with Christ to be set free from demons, to be cleansed of unrighteous, and to develop godly character. The Lord is very understanding and His mercy allows believers time to progress and get their lives together.
The Lord is a righteous Judge and judges us all differently depending on our individual circumstances. People who were divorced as unbelievers or who were divorced early on in their Christian walk (before they were set free from demons and sin) are judged much differently than the pastor from Tennessee mentioned above. These believers who were divorced can find grace in the Lord and become overseers one day, if that is the Lord’s will for them.
The pastor from Tennessee who was divorced and married his secretary is held to a much higher standard by the Lord. This leader had been a pastor for many years prior to the divorce. He was married for around 21 years and was expected to be demonstrating the godly character as defined in 1 Timothy Chapter 3. The breakdown of his family revealed that he was not managing his own household well, thus disqualifying him from overseeing the household of God. This is a clear case of a leader disregarding the scriptures and the majority of the congregation ignoring the scriptures as well. When God’s truth is willfully ignored, it is an indicator that a church is at risk of embracing deception and the doctrines of demons.
Conclusion
Beware of clever and crafty new ways of interpreting scripture. False teaching is being released in the church that justifies divorce and other wicked sins. Sexual sins and perversions are being embraced by many in the church. The falling away from the faith has begun. We must know the Lord and be swimming in His word to stay free from the bondage of error. I pray for the grace of the Lord Jesus to come upon you so that you will recognize the destructive heresies being introduced in these last days.
