Spiritual Fathers and Sons
Spiritual fathers and sons is one of the most powerful truths in the Bible. It can be a source of great blessing if done properly by the Spirit of God. However, if done in the flesh, it can be one of the most damaging doctrines taught in the church. This article will explore the healthy aspects of the subject, and address the error in the church that has a great potential to harm believers.
Biblical Context
The terms spiritual fathers and spiritual sons are grounded in the scriptures. Paul referred to both Timothy and Titus as his "spiritual" sons (2 Tomothy 1:2, Titus 1:4). Paul also spoke in the spiritual sense of having fathers in the faith (1 Corinthians 4:15, Philippians 2:19-22). We will examine other scriptures throughout this article, but these will be sufficient to prove that this subject is Biblical.
The Function of a Spiritual Father
The role of a spiritual father is to raise up a son spiritually. A father will nurture and protect a son. The spiritual father will pour out knowledge, understanding, wisdom, counsel, and blessing to the son. A father's primary goal is to make the son successful in knowing the Lord, and fulfilling the call of God on the son's life. Spiritual father's enjoy spending time with their sons not out of obligation, but because they are truly family. Father's who are controlling are not fit to be spiritual fathers. We will discuss this issue later in the article.
Jesus the Spiritual Father
We must always look to Jesus as our example of how to do things. Jesus is the perfect example of a spiritual father. Jesus even calls Himself a father (Hebrews 2:13).
Jesus called to Himself those sons who God ordained for Him, and appointed them to be with Him (Mark 3:13-15). He gave His spiritual sons access to Him everyday. His sons didn't have to go through his secretary in order to schedule a time to talk to Jesus. They had direct access to Him whenever they wanted, as true family does. Jesus' sons never felt like they were bothering him with questions for they had a open door to communicate with Him. Some leaders who claim to be spiritual fathers do not respond to emails or phone calls for extended periods of time (if at all). This can be very damaging to a spiritual son, and Jesus understood this. Jesus cared about His sons and spent time with them. Any "father" who does not spend time with his sons, is not a real spiritual father. Many desire to call themselves fathers, but there are very few that actually are fathers.
Jesus cared greatly about the spiritual needs of His sons. He invested time into them so they would be successful. He gave them wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and He taught them about God. He demonstrated to His sons how to do ministry. He trained them, and then He raised them up and empowered them. Then He gave them power and authority to do ministry, and His platform to preach (Luke 9:1-6). True spiritual fathers empower their sons according to the will of God (but in the proper timing of God).
False spiritual fathers rarely, if ever, share their platform. If they do, it's always controlled. The want-to-be spiritual father may tell the son what to preach, instead of allowing the son to hear from the Lord and preach whatever the Lord desires. When Jesus sent His sons out, He did not tell them what to preach. He simply said, “And as you go, preach, saying, ‘The kingdom of heaven is at hand.’” (Matthew 10:7 NKJV). Jesus entrusted His sons to the Holy Spirit. False spiritual fathers may allow a son to take their platform on a rare occasion, but they will never fully give their sons an inheritance. They do this more out of obligation than of genuine love and wanting their sons to succeed.
To balance this understanding, spiritual fathers should only share their platform when they hear from God to do so. Certain sons are really not sons at all, but orphans who only want their own will and ministry. A real father should never turn over his platform to a false son. The false son could damage the Lord’s sheep, and the spiritual father would be held accountable. Being a spiritual father is a difficult assignment to balance, and one must have the wisdom and discernment of the Holy Spirit. A spiritual father will be given the grace of God to discern who true sons and daughters are, and which ones are self-centered orphans seeking their own will. Young leaders who are trapped in an orphan way of thinking and have their focus on ministry building, should not be empowered into ministry (this includes youth ministry).
Jesus believed in the ones who no one else believed in. He took the ones who didn't make the cut for formal ministry training, and transformed them into some of the greatest ministers in history. A true father believes in his sons, and gets the best out of them. He gets the best out of them because he treats them the best. One of Jesus' main priorities was not building His own ministry, but building others. He worked diligently to see the life of God established in others. This could only be done out of a deep and intimate personal relationship. Any father that is unwilling to spend time with his sons like Jesus did, is not a father at all. Fathers who don't put forth the effort to spend time with their sons are nothing more than fakes, who simply desire the title of father like the Pharisees did (Matthew 23:1-12). Jesus clearly warns us in the scripture not to call leaders by the "title" of father, who simply desire to be titled as a form of honor before men.
Jesus released His sons into ministry even though they were not fully mature, as they were still arguing over who was the greatest. Character and Christ-likeness are extremely important, and necessary for heathy ministry. A certain level of maturity must be attained before a son is ready for ministry. However, Jesus understood that if one had to be perfect to be in ministry, then no one would be in ministry except Himself. He knew that this group of sons would abide in God until they attained to spiritual maturity, and therefore He trusted them with ministry. Controlling leaders can never trust sons with ministry. These fathers will always overlook their own faults, and only see the faults of their sons. They will justify that their spiritual sons are not ready for ministry. Of course if these fathers have a son in the natural, that son will be ready for ministry in their eyes (even if he really isn't). This is because false spiritual fathers do things according to the flesh, rather than the Spirit.
Jesus treated His sons as though they were more mature than they really were, and by doing this; He brought them into greater levels of maturity. They matured rapidly because He treated them with respect and trusted them. Controlling or false spiritual fathers do not have the ability to treat their sons as though they are mature. These "fathers" talk down to their sons and make them feel low and insignificant. Sons can never get it right in their eyes. False fathers do not have the capacity to treat their sons with much respect. They do however require the son to honor them and treat them with respect. These “fathers” don't know how to be a spiritual father, because they are not a spiritual son to the Father.
Jesus trusted His sons. He gave Judas the responsibility of overseeing the money. Jesus could have placed two of His sons in charge of collecting, counting, and distributing the ministry funds; but He did not. He put trust in Judas, even though He knew that Judas would betray Him. This is remarkable leadership that is extremely hard for us to understand. The controlling spiritual father will have a hard time trusting even the most honest spiritual son. This kind of father will need to be there to make sure the son "gets it right."
One of Jesus' focuses was to see God's destiny come to pass through His spiritual sons. He believed in and supported His sons, so God's will could be accomplished through them. The controlling false spiritual father will only be concerned about his own vision. He may say he cares about the vision that God wants to accomplish through his sons, but he really does not. This kind of father is only interested in getting sons to serve his vision and ministry. The controlling father does not want to release spiritual sons into their own ministries, because he needs slaves to serve his own ministry. This of course is because his calling and ministry are more important.
Jesus counseled His sons to be leaders and spiritual fathers themselves: “Now there was also a dispute among them, as to which of them should be considered the greatest. And He said to them, “The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them, and those who exercise authority over them are called ‘benefactors.’ But not so among you; on the contrary, he who is greatest among you, let him be as the younger, and he who governs as he who serves. For who is greater, he who sits at the table, or he who serves? Is it not he who sits at the table? Yet I am among you as the One who serves.” (Luke 22:24-27 NKJV).
According to Jesus, the greatest leader (or spiritual father) will be servant of all. Jesus came serving His sons. His sons did serve Him, but He served them in a far greater capacity than they could ever serve Him. Jesus gave them everything. As we have already discussed, He gave them power, authority, knowledge, anointing, a platform, and released them into ministry. Most importantly, He showed them the Father and taught them about the inward life. Compared to how much Jesus served them, His sons served Him very little. The greatest among them was servant of all, and the greatest among them was clearly Jesus. He is the example and He led by example.
Many false leaders (spiritual fathers) exercise the seat of authority in a "lordship" type position. They may never openly say this, but the air in their congregation is permeated with a sense of "everyone needs to serve the leader...it's all about the leaders vision...sons need to serve their father's vision." The problem with this line of thinking is that it is the opposite of what Jesus taught. Jesus said that those leaders who are considered great, are those who serve everyone else. Jesus said that the one who governs the church must become the servant.
This does not mean that the governor should require everyone to serve him and build his ministry. It means that the governor uses his power and authority to empower people into their God given callings. The leader is to perfect/equip the saints for the work of ministry (Ephesians 4:11-13). The scripture does not say that the leader is to perfect/equip the saints for the building up of and work of his own ministry. The saint may be called to be apart of that leaders ministry or the saint may not. That is not the leader's job to worry about. The leader's job is to obey Christ and the scripture. Serve, perfect, train, empower, and release. True fathers simply want their sons to succeed, and to go further than themselves.
True sons will serve their father, but service should always be based on relationship; not requirement. Required service is burdensome, while service done out of friendship is an easy yoke to bear. Jesus called His sons to be in relationship with Him before He expected them to serve Him. Some pastors or leaders will not even consider spending time with someone unless they serve their ministry first. Some leaders will not even allow you to "fit in" at their church until you prove that you are willing to serve. We must ask ourselves, is that how Jesus operates? Is that the love of God? Jesus got His sons to serve Him faithfully by establishing relationship with them. Whether its sons serving fathers or fathers serving sons; relationship must be our foundation. That is Kingdom.
John the Father
“Again, the next day, John stood with two of his disciples. And looking at Jesus as He walked, he said, “Behold the Lamb of God!” The two disciples heard him speak, and they followed Jesus.” John 1:35-37 NKJV
Real spiritual fathers will always point to Jesus. Even if it means that their own sons will begin following Jesus more than they follow them. The goal of a true father is for Jesus' influence to increase in the life of a spiritual son, and their own influence to decrease. A father’s main desire is to see his son in an intimate relationship with Christ, in which the son is walking in complete obedience to the Lord. A father's goal should be to see his son transformed into the image and maturity of Christ, where the son can be a father and raise healthy spiritual children himself.
A real father will encourage a son to follow another ministry if it will be beneficial to the son. The father will point to Jesus in another ministry, and freely allow the son to be apart of that ministry. Controlling fathers will never do this, because they do not want to give up any of their influence in a son's life. These fathers grab a hold of a son and keep him confined in their own ministry or church.
False Spiritual Fathers
Some leaders are currently teaching on the father/son relationship, and should not be doing so. These are leaders who do not have a full revelation of sonship, and thus cannot be spiritual fathers. Some of these leaders are deceived in their hearts in believing that they really are spiritual fathers. After teaching on this subject in their congregations, believers begin to grab ahold of this revelation and call their leaders "dad" or "papa". The false spiritual father will accept the name that the believer calls them, but the leader may not return the term of endearment to the believer.
Most people in these congregations are not treated as sons, but rather slaves. I have personally witnessed a precious believer who took this doctrine whole-heartedly, and called a leader "papa". The leader continued on like the believer didn't even say anything to him. He continued to give the believer instructions like he would do to a servant, and did not return any kind of affection whatsoever. It was one of the most heartbreaking and sickening things I have ever witnessed. My heart sank when I saw this display of hurtfulness.
The revelation of spiritual fathers and sons can be one of the most powerful understandings in God's Kingdom, but it also has the potential to be one of the most damaging. If leaders who are not spiritually mature or spiritually whole, teach this message; they can damage believers. If these leaders are not willing to treat people like spiritual sons, they will severely hurt people. The Lord has high requirements for His leadership. To whom much is given, much is required. Leaders will be held accountable before the throne of judgment for every believer that they have hurt or damaged.
““Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense comes!” (Matthew 18:6-7 NKJV)
I have personally heard a pastor's son teaching on sonship and explaining to a congregation that they needed to become spiritual sons. At that time, a number of believers in the congregation were already attempting to be spiritual sons to this pastor, but were not being treated like sons. It was such a damaging message to the congregation because the people were already doing what they had been taught, but the very leadership that was teaching the message was unable to fulfill their own teaching.
The pastors son went on to tell the congregation about all the privileges he had because he was a "spiritual son" to his natural father. What he could not see, was that the only reason he was given these special benefits is because he was the pastor's natural son. Everyone else in the congregation that wanted to be the pastor's spiritual sons, were not given benefits like a spiritual son. The pastor's son basically "beat the sheep" with this message, and it was obvious that he did not have the proper authority to preach it.
Those leaders who are not willing to walk in the example of Jesus the spiritual father, should not be teaching this doctrine. Some believers have enough discernment to see that their leaders are not true spiritual fathers and mothers, yet they submit to the doctrine anyway. These believers will be more damaged in the end, than the rest of the believers who could not discern properly. The Lord will hold these believers accountable for submitting to the false spiritual father, since these believers knew better. It will at best, cost believers years of delay in a spiritual wilderness. At worst, it could entangle believers so much that they miss their opportunity to enter their promise land. This is a serious matter.
Submitting to a controlling spiritual father will damage believers. Spiritual fathers should be free, releasing, and empowering. However, fathers who have control issues, are deeply wounded themselves and have no business fathering spiritual sons. These fathers will simply poison the hearts of pure sons with the same things that their own hearts have been polluted with. Believers who submit to control will take on the control spirit, and become controlling themselves (possibly with their wives, children, or anyone else they have authority over).
The Shepherding Movement
The doctrine of spiritual sons and fathers (in its pure form) is completely of the Lord. However there is a great danger in the church. Some of the errors of the shepherding movement have been rising in the church, and are being mixed with the spiritual father/son message. This is beginning to pollute the pure doctrine that the Lord desires to release. The enemy has used a back door to gain access to God's people. His goal is to come in under the appearance of righteous doctrine, and entangle believers once again. Satan's purpose in doing this is to hurt and embitter believers.
Satan has been attempting to reintroduce the shepherding movement into the father and son doctrine. In congregations where he is successful, sons will feel that they must get permission from their spiritual father before they can make decisions. It's not wrong for a son to seek counsel from his father, but a son finding it necessary to get permission is another issue altogether. Sons who are bound by a controlling spirit will feel it necessary to run their decisions by their spiritual father in order to get their approval or permission. The Lord's permission or approval will not be enough. These sons have submitted to the control of the shepherd, so they must have his approval before moving forward. Moving forward on a decision without the approval of the spiritual father could put the son in bad standing with the father. The son desires to fit in and be accepted, so he cannot risk this. The son is controlled.
A pure and good spiritual father will give advice, and counsel the son to obey the Lord in whatever the son feels the Lord is saying. A controlling shepherding style father will cast confusion into the process. He may muddy the waters with his own opinions, will, or what he feels the Lord is saying to the son. In more severe scenarios, the controlling father can even become a mediator between the spiritual son and God. Pure spiritual fathers will always leave the decision to the son without trying to manipulate their decision. This takes maturity and discipline, but is one of the hallmarks of a true father. Real spiritual fathers are characterized by their openness and freedom.
Precaution in Teaching this Doctrine
The doctrine of spiritual fathers and sons should not be taught to everyone in a general sense. If a pastor teaches it to an entire congregation, then the whole congregation desires to enter into an intimate spiritual relationship with their leader. The believers desire to be sons to their spiritual father, the pastor. Then things began to unravel. The pastor will only be able to spend time with a few of the believers in the congregation under the role of a spiritual father. The majority of the congregation gets left out and feels undervalued. The believers just got a message preached to them about being spiritual sons to a father. Then they take ahold of the revelation and want to spend time with their spiritual father. However, their "father" does not make time for them and they are hurt.
We must be very careful how we preach this message, and who we preach it to. It can absolutely devastate precious believers. We must explain in greater detail about how these spiritual matters work. If we cannot communicate clearly, then we should not be communicating the message at all.
The Title of Father
There has become a practice in the body of Christ in which believers in a congregation call their spiritual leader or pastor "papa," "dad," or "daddy." This type of titling is forbidden in the scriptures by Jesus. We will examine the following verses in order to come to an accurate conclusion on this subject:
“Then Jesus spoke to the multitudes and to his disciples, saying, “The scribes and the Pharisees sat on Moses’ seat. All things therefore whatever they tell you to observe, observe and do, but don’t do their works; for they say, and don’t do. For they bind heavy burdens that are grievous to be borne, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not lift a finger to help them. But all their works they do to be seen by men. They make their phylacteries broad, enlarge the fringes of their garments, and love the place of honor at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, the salutations in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi, Rabbi’ by men. But don’t you be called ‘Rabbi,’ for one is your teacher, the Christ, and all of you are brothers. Call no man on the earth your father, for one is your Father, he who is in heaven. Neither be called masters, for one is your master, the Christ. But he who is greatest among you will be your servant. Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” (Matthew 23:1-12 WEB).
First it is important to note that Jesus is speaking to His own disciples and the crowds of people in the above passage. Second, He is speaking about leadership who, secretly in their hearts, enjoy being recognized by others; indicating that their hidden sin is the pride of life. Jesus tells His disciples and the people not to call a leader Rabbi or teacher. Jesus does not mean that we do not have people who are teachers in the church, for this would contradict the scripture in Ephesians 4:11. The scripture reveals to us that we have people in the church who function as teachers. Jesus is simply saying that we are not to call or title them teacher when talking to them. This does not mean that we cannot say that a leader is a teacher when talking about their function; only that we are not to address them as teacher when speaking directly to them.
Jesus also forbids His disciples from allowing people to call them father, papa, or dad. There is only One who is worthy of that title, Father/Daddy God. Jesus does not say that a man cannot be a spiritual father. He is simply saying that we are not to call a man "father" or "papa" when speaking to that person; or allow someone to call us father. We can however, state that a certain man is a spiritual father when talking about them, as we would only be describing a way that a person is functioning. Paul did function as a spiritual father to Timothy, and it is perfectly okay to state that. Timothy just didn't approach Paul and call him "papa" to his face. He may, however, have referred to Paul as his spiritual father when speaking about Paul to the church.
Leaders who enjoy being called "father" or "papa" by their congregation or followers are operating in pride as the Pharisees were. They are disobeying a direct command from Jesus by allowing people call or title them teacher, father, or master. Yet these leaders "love the place of honor at feasts, the best seats in the synagogues, the salutations in the marketplaces, and to be called ‘Rabbi, Rabbi’ by men." When believers call these leaders "pastor," "Papa," or "apostle;" it feeds their pride. However no true disciple of Jesus Christ would allow other believers to address them as "pastor," "teacher," or "father."
A true disciple of Christ would obey Christ, and would not need or want to be titled by people. A leader may function as an apostle, but why do they need to be titled or called apostle? The same is true with the function of a pastor. It is important to understand the function of a leader, but we do not need to title leaders. Titles do nothing but promote pride among leadership. "Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.”
Spiritual Matches
The Lord has a spiritual match for most believers in marriage. He sometimes has a match for spiritual fathers and sons. Just like it is not alright for a believer to marry any woman he chooses to, it is not okay for a believer to become a son of any spiritual father. It could certainly be called "spiritual," but it may be completely of the flesh. If a father and son enter into a relationship that is not of the Holy Spirit, then it will be of the flesh.
With so much teaching on spiritual fathers and sons, there are many believers who are understandably excited to enter into one of these relationships. Therefore when a pastor teaches on the subject, believers commit whole-heartedly. Many times the believer does not have the spiritual understanding or maturity to know any better. Most of the blame should then fall on the leader for not explaining the doctrine properly.
Elijah had a spiritual son and his name was Elisha. This relationship was ordained by God. If Elijah would have spoken to someone else and gotten a different person to become be his spiritual son; Elijah would have drifted off into the flesh. The Lord had a specific son for Elijah, and that relationship was of the Spirit of God. The same was true for Peter. Not any son could have had Peter for a spiritual father, but only those sons who the Lord ordained. The spiritual father and sonship revelation must be done by the Spirit. If not, it will continue to hurt and crush believers.
Leaders need to explain clearly that only the Lord can place a spiritual father and son together. It must not be done by our will or our desire, so that we do not get off into the flesh. Leaders need to teach that the Lord will make it happen in His timing and in His way. When it happens it will feel peaceful and natural. It will not be forced, because it will be from Him. It will feel like ‘family’ instead of servitude.
A whole congregation should not be taught that their pastor or leader is their spiritual father/mother. How could the leader know for sure that they are called of God to be a spiritual father to every single person in the congregation? It could be that some believers in a congregation are only called by God to be in that congregation for a certain period of time, and after that season is complete; the Lord moves them to another congregation where they meet their God appointed spiritual father and mother.
We must not assume that we know the will of the Lord for a whole congregation of people. Remember that the model for being a spiritual father is Jesus. Even He could only effectively father a limited number of sons. We must protect believers in the church as Jesus would. Let us repent from any error so that no more saints are spiritually wrecked.
Fathers in a General Sense
Paul indicates to the church at Corinth in 1 Corinthians 4:14-17, that because they came to the Lord through his ministry; they were (in a general sense) children to him through the gospel. They were born again through his ministry, so in a way, he was a father to them. However, Paul says of Timothy that he is a "beloved son." So there is a difference between being a father to someone in the gospel (in a general sense as some pastors may be to certain congregations), and walking in a true father/son relationship as Timothy and Paul did. Some pastors may only be one of the ten thousand instructors which Paul refers to in this passage. The Lord does things differently with different people in different locations. We must follow the guiding of the Holy Spirit if we desire to stay out of error. Copying other ministries or ministers can lead to disaster. We need the Spirit.
“For though ye may have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet ye shall not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.” (1 Corinthians 4:15 JUB)
Paul was referencing a spiritual father (in a general sense) because he led them to the Lord. So like a father in the natural has a part in bringing forth a baby in the natural, Paul as a “spiritual” father helped birth them into the Spirit. Therefore a person who introduces the gospel of Jesus Christ, helps bring spiritual children into the Kingdom of God. But the relationship may never progress into maturity with that particular spiritual father. It may only remain at a low level spiritual relationship.
Pastors of congregations can confuse people when they say they are a spiritual father to everyone. In the natural, how many children can one really father effectively? If a pastor is claiming to be a spiritual father to hundreds or thousands, many of those children are going to be overlooked, neglected, and hurt. Sometimes it’s a lack of understanding on the part of the pastor. The person may be a leader, pastor, or teacher; but being a father is different. If a pastor is only a teacher to people, he/she should not try to step into the role of a spiritual father/mother.
Sons and Orphans
I once heard a pastor (who was promoting the spiritual father teaching) take up an offering for a guest speaker (his spiritual father). The pastor said, "Sons know how to give, but orphans don't give." My wife and I couldn't believe the manipulation that was coming forth from this man. He was basically saying that you are only a son if you give money. If you do not give then you are just an orphan. This manipulation caused people in the meeting to feel a heavy pressure to give in the offering so they didn't look like orphans (even if they had already given a decent amount of money in prior meetings). It placed condemnation on believers and was extremely sad to witness.
It was clear that the pastor who used this manipulation was not a real son himself. No real son would ever say something like that. That was the language of an orphan. Sonship is not something you teach because you understand it as a doctrine. It is something you become, because the revelation is living inside you. This pastor was teaching the message without the inward reality.
Spiritual Families
When a church is meeting and becoming a spiritual family, most believers do not want to leave. Just because leaders of a church are confidently saying that their church is a spiritual family, does not make it so. Spiritual families are not determined by the words of leadership. They are determined by the actions of leadership that create an atmosphere for the congregation. Church leaders may actually believe that their church is a spiritual family, when in reality they are not. If believers are consistently leaving a congregation, it could be a sign that they are not a spiritual family. Words can be cheap, actions are what demonstrate reality.
It’s the Lord’s desire for His people to become a real spiritual family. This can only be done by the Spirit of God as believers gather around Jesus. As disciples seek Jesus first, the Lord will build those believers into a spiritual temple. Leaders who are yielded to the grace of God, will be used to cultivate spiritual families. The Lord desires this and it is coming. Pray for the gathering of families.
Correction
A spiritual father, may at times, need to bring correction or discipline to a son. If a son is in error or has fallen into sin, then this may be necessary.
A true spiritual son must be willing to receive correction as Peter did from Jesus in Matthew 16:23. Any true son will be open to discipline if they have erred or sinned, because real spiritual sons are obedient to the word (Hebrew 12:5-11). Mature spiritual fathers will always correct sons with love and gentleness, knowing that they themselves are far from perfect. Restoration must be done in humility as the scripture commands (Galatians 6:1-3).
The Spirit and Power of Elijah
“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the LORD. And he will turn The hearts of the fathers to the children, And the hearts of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and strike the earth with a curse.”” Malachi 4:5-6 NKJV
John the Baptist ministered in the spirit and power of Elijah before the Lord's first coming (Luke 1:16). The Lord stated in Malachi that the spirit and power of Elijah would be released again before His second coming. It was given to John for one nation, and now it is being released to a select company of people for the nations. Some Elijah-like ministries will carry this anointing. Part of their calling is to restore the hearts of fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to the fathers.
These ministries will lay a proper foundation for the doctrine of fathers and sons. They will be tearing down improper teaching and bringing correction in this area to the body of Christ. These ministries will be distinct and noticeable because they carry the same confrontational DNA as Elijah, Elisha, and John the Baptist. Other ministries will not carry the same authority to release and implement the father and son revelation. The scripture is very clear. It says He will send Elijah the prophet. It does not say, “He will send Daniel the prophet or John the apostle.” I am not saying that other ministries are not important. I am saying, however, that the Lord has chosen Elijah-like ministries for a certain function, and it is important that we listen to the Lord. It's about His will, not our own.
Much of the current mess in the church is because other ministries have taken the lead on releasing the doctrine of fathers and sons. Believers will continue to get hurt until we yield to the Lord's timing and the Lord's ways. Those who walk in the spirit and power of Elijah have authority to lay the foundations of this doctrine. Certain churches are ready for this doctrine to be released, and certain churches are not. Those operating in the spirit and power of Elijah can discern more accurately which ministries are ready for this understanding to be revealed.
Not all Have Fathers
The Lord may assign a spiritual father to a believer, or He may not. This is His choice, and we must abide in His will. If we choose our own will, spiritual messes will be the result. Elijah did not have a spiritual father (that we know of); rather the Lord was his Father. If the Lord chooses this for any of us, then He will be completely sufficient. He can do whatever He desires, and He may have a reason for not giving us a spiritual father.
We should never try and force believers or ministers to have a spiritual father and mother. This is not a rigid doctrine, but a life-based relationship given by the Lord. If the Lord does choose to put two people together in a father/son relationship; it will be by His Spirit. The Lord will speak to both people about the relationship, and His peace will be there to confirm it. Again, not everyone will or must have a spiritual father. Some believers, however, may have multiple spiritual fathers.
“For though ye may have ten thousand instructors in Christ, yet ye shall not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I have begotten you through the gospel.” (1 Corinthians 4:15 JUB)
Paul says that “ye shall not have many fathers.” Fathers plural. So one can have more than one spiritual father. Maybe even two or three if that is the will of the Lord for that person. Some people may only have one spiritual father.
Boundaries and Protecting Hearts
The Kingdom of Heaven is based on relationship. There are boundaries in relationships. We can relate to the Lord as a son or daughter. That is a much closer relationship than someone who is simply saved and believes. The same is true with friends in the natural or the Spirit. There are friends in general, and then there are very close friends; with different levels in between. With each type of relationship there should be healthy boundaries. The boundaries set, depends on the relationship.
Sons and daughters in the natural are in close relationship with their parents. A father and mother spend a lot of time with them, and the children have access to their parents’ space and time. The same should be true with spiritual children.
Spiritual fathers and mothers must set boundaries and protect their own hearts. For example, a leader in relationship with a believer may start to view that believer as a spiritual son or daughter. The spiritual father may begin to open his heart to a person, and view them as a spiritual child. However the son/daughter doesn’t feel the same way. They may only view the leader as a teacher, mentor, or generalized friend. The spiritual father must be careful not to open his heart fully to the believer as a spiritual son or daughter. This has the potential to set the leader up for a broken heart.
True fathers must open their hearts to their spiritual children, but only if the believers are ready for the spiritual relationship. Otherwise the father will end up getting spiritually damaged. The reverse scenario can obviously occur as well. Fathers and mothers desire to nurture and raise up spiritual children, but immature children who are not ready to value the relationship can damage hearts.
If spiritual children do not want a spiritual father, then they should not be given the same access as a son or daughter in the natural. Spiritual children who do not want the relationship, but want special treatment are not in proper Kingdom alignment. A father should not allow someone close to him, whose heart is not open to him as a spiritual father. If a son or daughter’s heart is not open in that capacity, they are not ready to be a spiritual son or daughter.
Real spiritual sons and daughters should get access just as a son or daughter in the natural. A spiritual father will make time to email, call, or spend time with a spiritual son or daughter (as he would his own natural son or daughter). This is because the spiritual son or daughter is apart of his close family! Believers who only desire to relate to a leader on a lower level, such as a teacher, should not have the same access as son or daughter. This will protect the leader.
The spiritual father needs to be with the Lord first and foremost. Then he must attend to his natural family. Then the father has a responsibility of being with his spiritual children. After that comes teaching the people that the Lord has given him responsibility for. These boundaries are important and healthy. If a leader places a priory on responding to someone who he is only a “pastor” to, over someone who he is in closer relationship to; then that leader is out of order. We must spend the majority of our time with those who we are in the closest relationship with.
Jesus modeled this for us. The 12 apostles stayed with Jesus and traveled with Him. The rest of the people did not stay with Jesus or travel with Him. The 12 spiritual sons of Jesus had greater access to Jesus than the 70 other disciples. The spiritual sons of Jesus had special access to Him that others didn’t have. Those that related to Jesus as a teacher, received ministry from Him, but they did not get His intimacy as a spiritual father. Jesus kept things in proper order, and did not open his heart fully to those that He shouldn’t have. He is our example.
We choose our relationships and by doing so we set our own boundaries. The Kingdom of Heaven should be based upon close intimate relationships, but many choose to live at a distance for fear of being hurt. We must operate in true discernment so we do not damage ourselves by getting involved in a relationship that is not of the Holy Spirit. However we must not stand at a distance from true Kingdom relationships out of the fear of getting hurt. We have to open our hearts to one another when the Holy Spirit breathes upon a certain relationship.
The closer we are to God, the more of His heart He gives us. He will not give those His whole heart who are not willing to walk with Him as a son, close friend, and bride. Whenever you give someone your heart that you are not in that kind of close relationship with, they can easy hurt and damage your heart. That is just as true for spiritual fathers as it is for sons and daughters. We are exposed when we open our hearts to people. This puts us at risk for rejection and hurt. However, there is no other way to have the true relationships we see in scripture unless we become vulnerable. Discerning where people are at spiritually, and how we are to relate to them is the key.
Father and son relationships should never be based on getting something from the other person, even spiritual things. Getting spiritual things may occur, but the purpose is for true Kingdom relationship. I don’t want to be with the Lord for what He can do for me or give me. I want to be with Him because I enjoy being with Him for who He is. It didn’t always used to be that way, but as Jesus has grown in me; it has become that.
Blessing and Inheritance
A son has access to his fathers things that other people, in general, do not have access to. How people interact relationally matters. The same is true with how we relate to the Lord. How we relate to God determines the access we have to Him, and the grace we are given. The Lord is no respecter of persons, and those who choose to draw near to Him are always blessed by Him.
Jesus, as a man, was a spiritual father to the 12 apostles. They were given great grace because they chose to become close to Jesus as sons. They then received an inheritance from their spiritual father. The Holy Spirit could have blessed all the other people just as much as He blessed the 12, but He did not. The 12 apostles received great grace and anointing, while other disciples received a measured portion of grace.
John got the secret of who would betray Jesus because he was a son. Only a son would lean his head on the chest of his spiritual father to receive the secret. This revelation was not given to everyone, but to the one who was close to Jesus’ heart. Sonship opens one up to receive revelation and understanding from a spiritual father. What took the spiritual father decades to learn, can be received in a few years from a true son. This empowers the son to go far beyond the father, which is the desire of a real spiritual father.
The only reason that Elisha had access to a double portion anointing is because he was a spiritual son. The culture of the times in Israel dictated that the first born son (in the natural) would receive a double portion inheritance from his father. The same can be true in the spiritual. Joshua did not receive a double portion of Moses’ anointing. But when Elijah was taken from Elisha, Elisha cried out “my father my father.” His heart was that of a true son, which opened the gates of Heaven to receive a double portion of Elijah’s anointing. Sonship was the key.
The Lord could have chosen to raise up Elisha just like he did Elijah (in the wilderness without a spiritual father). But the Lord did not. We cannot decide how we want to do things. We must hear from the Holy Spirit and do things His way. We have to abide in His grace. Elisha had to abide in the grace of God and do things God’s way. Then his ministry came forth. Elisha did not email Elijah to see if he would be his spiritual father (in order that his ministry might be successful). Elisha was simply doing what the Lord had called him to do, when suddenly, Elijah showed up with the call to come and be a spiritual son. Elisha heard the Holy Spirit, accepted the call, and passed the test. Spiritual sons/daughters will receive a spiritual inheritance, but orphans will not. Fathers, be careful of those who would only use you for their own benefit. Hear from the Holy Spirit and trust Him.
Sons, allow the Holy Spirit to purify your heart of sin issues so that you are able to pass the tests, and so that you do not waste your spiritual inheritance like the prodigal son. The prodigal son may have returned to the father, and from that parable we have a revelation of the Father’s mercy. However, it also shows us that the prodigal wasted all of his inheritance, while the older brother still had all of the Father’s inheritance (Luke 15:31). Sin destroys destiny.
Gehazi forfeited his spiritual inheritance when he lusted after wealth and the things of this world (2 Kings 5). The Lord had his spiritual father, Elisha, turn down any kind of compensation for ministry as a test for Gehazi. Gehazi failed the test, and never stepped into his spiritual inheritance. He was satisfied with only being a servant. A servant who would never receive the prophetic ministry, and the anointing that came with it. Sons and daughters will be tested by the Lord in order to determine if they are worthy to receive their inheritance. This testing process can take years or decades. Many either give up, or disqualify themselves during this testing period as Gehazi did. True sons will abide in the grace of God and be successful.
Maturity and Ministry
I mentioned before that spiritual fathers should be empowering spiritual sons into ministry like Jesus did. I felt the need to add a note of caution. Jesus only empowered His sons after hearing and seeing what the Father was doing. All empowering into ministry must be done by the will and timing of God. Maybe sons are to be sent out, instead of ministering within their spiritual father’s ministry. Maybe the Holy Spirit needs the son to be in the wilderness for additional preparation by himself away from the fathers’ ministry until the son is ready for ministry. Every situation is different and requires insight from the Holy Spirit.
Sometimes sons must go through many years of dying to self by carrying their crosses before they are ready for ministry. Empowering sons too early into ministry has the potential of damaging them, and destroying the Lord’s will for them. Immature sons who are given a position of leadership too soon, can damage God’s people. Sometimes the worst thing we can do to a son, is give them our platform before they are ready.
Real spiritual fathers are not controlling, but they should be discerning. Only Jesus Himself can commission into ministry. Spiritual Fathers must discern the commission, not just the call. Years or decades can separate the call from the commission. Sons need to understand this and know that real fathers are only looking after their best interests. Sons must trust their fathers. Everything must be done by the Spirit and in the Spirit.
When I was young in the Spirit, I thought I was ready for ministry. I was however deceived. I may have sat under a controlling ministry for a time, but I should not have been put in ministry at that time. Ultimately the Holy Spirit was watching over me and teaching me. Only the Holy Spirit can commission someone into ministry. He can do it through a spiritual father, or He can do it by Himself. If someone is not given a platform in ministry, it is important not to blame a leader.
The Lord is able to do anything He wants. That means He will appear to someone and commission them like He did Moses, if He chooses to. We must trust Him, and not rely on man. Spiritual fathers are not to be used by a son, so that the son can be commissioned into ministry. Fathers are for relationship. Only a son can prevent their own commissioning into ministry by failing the tests, or choosing to distance themselves from the Lord. You are the only one who can stop you from being commissioned into your calling. Blaming others, even bad spiritual fathers, will destroy your own calling.
Conclusion
If done properly, the father/son relationship can be extremely rich, whole, and spiritually beneficial. If done in the flesh, it can destroy lives; for it is the Spirit who gives life, the flesh profits nothing (John 6:63). We must be extremely careful as we progress in this revelation. We must grab ahold of the grace of God and only move forward in Him.
True fathers and sons bless one another abundantly. They serve one another, respect one another, and love one another. Real fathers and sons want one another to be fully successful in their walks with the Lord. They give to each other so that they can both prosper. They come together in unity because they realize that it is not about their own personal kingdoms, it's about their Heavenly Father's Kingdom. True fathers and sons are about their Fathers’ business. When fathers and sons are walking together in truth, freedom, and wholeness; it truly is a manifestation of the Kingdom of God on the earth.
- Ty Unruh (2015)
